The Unwanted Wife

I preface this entry by quoting our beloved Saviour in speaking to the hardened heart whether it be in betrayal or unforgiveness,

2 "The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.

3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"

4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."

5 And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

6 "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'

7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

8 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

9 "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  (Mark 10:2-9)

If you are looking for justification in divorce, you will not find it here.

If you have broken your marriage covenant and betrayed your spouse, repent, and seek God's redemption.  For, "He who calls you is faithful, Who also will do it."  (1Thess 5:24)

If you have hardened your broken heart in unforgiveness, re-brake the wound and allow for the Lord's healing to replace your scars.  "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."  (Matt 6:14&15)

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This covenant of marriage.  It is to God and man, but it cannot be kept to God alone.  To honor it rightly, it must be kept to the man as well.

It is a covenant to be made with much hesitation, and after much prayer, fasting, and meditation. For it places your righteousness before God in the hands of another. Your ability to honor and maintain your covenant is dependent on the heart of another, and their covenant to you. If they break and abandon their covenant, unrepentant, you are left a sinner in divorce and adultery...

"But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."  (Jesus, Matt 5:32)

But I write these things to you as one who has been rejected by their beloved and I say to you, take heart. You are indeed more important to God than the covenant, the law binding you.  And you are loved.

Our Father's love, mercy, and grace have covered the transgression of His law (Rahab's lie Joshua 2:3-7, David eats the showbread 1Sam 21:6, Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath Mark 2:23-28).  Is your law, your marriage covenant, greater or higher than that of His very Word?  No.

Indeed, in the face of a marriage covenant unrepentantly broken or abandoned by its symbiotic partner,  where our remaining covenant does naught, but bind us to the transgressor in such a way as to destroy and/or leave abandoned in chains our life and that of our children, we should divorce.

Is it then no longer sin?  No, it is still sin.  But it is covered by the mercy and grace of God.  As is Godly remarriage.  As was Rahab in her lie.  As was Tamar in here trickery (Genesis 38:1-26).  As were the blessed German hiders and protectors of Jews in Nazi Germany.  They indeed "sinned".  They transgressed the law for the sake of Godly love, Godly mercy, and Godly grace.  And as we know that Jesus Himself covered such transgressions for the sake of this higher law (Mark 2:23-28), we know that they are no sins at all in the eyes of God, as His love, mercy, and grace are held by Himself to be higher than His law.

Jesus said Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts (Matt 19:8, Mark 10:5).  Do we think then that God allowed divorce for the sake of the hard hearted against their inconvenient or unwanted counterparts?  This is entirely against the nature of God as we know Him; as He reveals Himself in Scripture and in our lives.  Rather the law allowed for divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts for the sake of love, mercy, and grace for the unwanted.  Lest the hardened of heart take out their "bondage" upon their spouse or even go so far as to seek other means of "freeing" themselves.

The law is righteous, but the the higher law of God's love, mercy, and grace reign where the law is genuinely transgressed for the sake of such.  Jesus did not bring a new law to replace the old.  Nor did He simply bring more laws.  He brought a higher law that completes the existing law (Matt 5:17-19).  The law upon which God has always operated (Hos 6:6, Matt 12:7), as is evidenced throughout Scripture, yet could not be operated upon rightly by men without the cleansing of sin and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that He may operate upon it in us and through us.

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What then?  Do I advocate divorce after all?  No.  I advocate Godly love, mercy, and grace over the law for the betrayed, the outcast, the abused, the unwanted and abandoned spouse in the face of an unrepentant hard heart.

Sex Ed

Though my own children are fairly young, the oldest being 6, I have encountered much concern among my fellow Christian parents on the subject of Sex Education.  "When should I start talking about it?"  "What do I say?"  "What have they already been told?"  "What have they already done?"  "How much information is too much information at what age?"

First, lets rightly divide the subjects shall we?  There are really three subjects being moshed together here:

One is Biology.  It's academic and may be taught when it appears in the school curriculum or as questions arise.  It covers human anatomy, the function of the various reproductive organs, and possibly hygiene.  Though younger children may giggle at the pictures, it is basic knowledge that is good to have and is of little offense or debate.

Second is sexuality and the exploration of its various expressions.  Quite honestly, I do not feel this is something that anyone needs to be taught.  The most primitive humans and even creatures appear to be able to figure these things out on their own, and further, seem to have a pretty good time doing so!  Within the context of a loving Christian marriage there is a lifetime to explore, enjoy, discover, and even laugh about our sexuality.  The only reason to "teach" these things to unmarried individuals of any age seems to be to minimize the negative consequences of acting out their sexuality in inappropriate ways that do not honor God; safe sex to avoid disease and pregnancy, technique to avoid embarrassment, etc.

Finally we come to the real issue at hand; purity.  Now that's a pretty archaic and staunch name for something as lovely as it represents.  Because purity is really about love.  God's love for us.  And it is about our relationship with and love for Him.

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"How much can I get away with and not technically have sinned?"

"How far can I go without losing my salvation?"

When you have a best friend, that you love, that you know would die for you, who's love and friendship you cherish. You don't go around trying to figure out how many times they will forgive you, how far is too far with their hot girlfriend, or how selfish you can be and still keep their friendship. You run in the opposite direction from those things that would damage that relationship or hurt that person. And further, you are too busy engaging in and enjoying that relationship to care about those other things.

If we are debating and defining how far is too far, we have already lost the battle.  Because what they are really asking is, "how far is too far from God?"  It comes from a place of rebellion and from a sense of bondage in their faith.  When the heart is in the right place, an intimate relationship with their Lord and Saviour, the question becomes, "How can I come closer Lord?"

Further, if we are trying to teach purity out of the law, we will fail. The whole point of the law was to show us we can't do it ourselves, we NEED Jesus.  Galatians 5:22&23 tell us that love, faithfulness, and self-control are fruits of the Spirit, not the seeds of salvation or its assurance.  These things are a natural product of a relationship with Him.

So what does this mean for us as Christian parents?  It means there is no quick fix, no half semester course to clear this up.  It demands of us that we raise them in the admonition of the Lord over the long haul.  It requires in them a personal relationship with the Lord and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  Even then, there is temptation and there will be failings.  But the love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness of God are more than sufficient for such things.  For it is the nature of our fallen nature, and God knows every detail, and He loves us anyway. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." (2Cor 12:9, NKJV)

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8, NKJV)

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Back to those two questions I mentioned earlier...

~ "How much can I get away with and not technically have sinned?":

   Too late!  You're already a sinner!  (That's why Jesus died for you.)

   What you should be asking is, "What is God's best for me?  And how

   can I get it?"  (Because He loves you more than you love yourself.)

~ "How far can I go without losing my salvation?":

   Salvation is by grace through faith in Christ Jesus.  Nothing you do

   can earn or cost your salvation but your acceptance or rejection of

   Christ Jesus.  So... do you accept Him?  Or are you trying to get

   out from under His thumb?

The Starving Glutton (1)

After many many years of struggling with my weight and trying to attack it from every angle humanly possible I finally came to a mind blowing realization!  Gluttony is a sin!  (Genesis 25:30-34, Proverbs 23:2, Proverbs 23:20-21, Ezekiel 16:49)

Now I have known this fact for as long as I can remember, however, it was more a factoid in my semi-conscious knowledge database than anything I actually applied in my faith, life, or diet battle strategies.  Probably because it was NEVER preached from the pulpit in my presence (and I have attended alot of church in my day).  Probably because it is completely taboo.  I mean you think teaching about homosexuality will get your congregation up in arms?  Try telling them they're fat and that God says it's a sin!  Whew!

But here's the thing, God tells us it's a sin because He love's us.  Because He knows it's something we cannot overcome without Him.  After all, isn't the purpose of the Law to show us that we are slaves to our own sinful nature and can not conquer that sin without God?  That's why He sent Jesus.  Because He knows we can't conquer sin on our own.  We need His victory over and freedom from sin, and He DIED to give it to us!  So how sad is it, that we are so afraid to offend people, that we fail to offer them the one true answer to any sin problem, Jesus?

I put this out there, because I have recently begun this journey with Dad, and I will probably continue to blog on it with numbered titles as I learn and grow in it.

The FIRST thing I have learned and am growing in, is to give it to Him.  Confess it, admit we can't do this on our own, and lay it at His feet.  Stop dieting, stop counting calories.  We need to let go of our death grip on this part of our lives.  Self control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), not something we obtain by our own virtue or effort.  Only accepting God's forgiveness and putting Him in control will get us where He wants us, and that is free from the bondage of sin.

Romans 8:2-4
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,
4 that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

God bless.