The Unwanted Wife

I preface this entry by quoting our beloved Saviour in speaking to the hardened heart whether it be in betrayal or unforgiveness,

2 "The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.

3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"

4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."

5 And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

6 "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'

7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

8 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

9 "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  (Mark 10:2-9)

If you are looking for justification in divorce, you will not find it here.

If you have broken your marriage covenant and betrayed your spouse, repent, and seek God's redemption.  For, "He who calls you is faithful, Who also will do it."  (1Thess 5:24)

If you have hardened your broken heart in unforgiveness, re-brake the wound and allow for the Lord's healing to replace your scars.  "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."  (Matt 6:14&15)

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This covenant of marriage.  It is to God and man, but it cannot be kept to God alone.  To honor it rightly, it must be kept to the man as well.

It is a covenant to be made with much hesitation, and after much prayer, fasting, and meditation. For it places your righteousness before God in the hands of another. Your ability to honor and maintain your covenant is dependent on the heart of another, and their covenant to you. If they break and abandon their covenant, unrepentant, you are left a sinner in divorce and adultery...

"But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."  (Jesus, Matt 5:32)

But I write these things to you as one who has been rejected by their beloved and I say to you, take heart. You are indeed more important to God than the covenant, the law binding you.  And you are loved.

Our Father's love, mercy, and grace have covered the transgression of His law (Rahab's lie Joshua 2:3-7, David eats the showbread 1Sam 21:6, Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath Mark 2:23-28).  Is your law, your marriage covenant, greater or higher than that of His very Word?  No.

Indeed, in the face of a marriage covenant unrepentantly broken or abandoned by its symbiotic partner,  where our remaining covenant does naught, but bind us to the transgressor in such a way as to destroy and/or leave abandoned in chains our life and that of our children, we should divorce.

Is it then no longer sin?  No, it is still sin.  But it is covered by the mercy and grace of God.  As is Godly remarriage.  As was Rahab in her lie.  As was Tamar in here trickery (Genesis 38:1-26).  As were the blessed German hiders and protectors of Jews in Nazi Germany.  They indeed "sinned".  They transgressed the law for the sake of Godly love, Godly mercy, and Godly grace.  And as we know that Jesus Himself covered such transgressions for the sake of this higher law (Mark 2:23-28), we know that they are no sins at all in the eyes of God, as His love, mercy, and grace are held by Himself to be higher than His law.

Jesus said Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts (Matt 19:8, Mark 10:5).  Do we think then that God allowed divorce for the sake of the hard hearted against their inconvenient or unwanted counterparts?  This is entirely against the nature of God as we know Him; as He reveals Himself in Scripture and in our lives.  Rather the law allowed for divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts for the sake of love, mercy, and grace for the unwanted.  Lest the hardened of heart take out their "bondage" upon their spouse or even go so far as to seek other means of "freeing" themselves.

The law is righteous, but the the higher law of God's love, mercy, and grace reign where the law is genuinely transgressed for the sake of such.  Jesus did not bring a new law to replace the old.  Nor did He simply bring more laws.  He brought a higher law that completes the existing law (Matt 5:17-19).  The law upon which God has always operated (Hos 6:6, Matt 12:7), as is evidenced throughout Scripture, yet could not be operated upon rightly by men without the cleansing of sin and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that He may operate upon it in us and through us.

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What then?  Do I advocate divorce after all?  No.  I advocate Godly love, mercy, and grace over the law for the betrayed, the outcast, the abused, the unwanted and abandoned spouse in the face of an unrepentant hard heart.